The Perfect Boyfriend
by QueenAlla
Summary: One-shot written for "KCVII". Reno's lying ability is fantastic... T for minor swearing.


I don't own Final Fantasy or anything to do with it, Squaresoft/Square-Enix does. I wrote this for KCVII, so...enjoy!

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Tifa awoke to the call of Sunday with a headache and morning sickness. She wouldn't have been surprised if she was pregnant, with the amount of times she'd been finding Reno laying around in her apartment. For that reason, she regretted leaving Cloud, despite having her own greater sense of independence.

Slowly rising to a seating position in her king-sized bed, she cast a weary glance towards her alarm clock, grateful for the light-filtering curtains on her windows. 8 am. What had possessed her to wake up as early as that, and on a Sunday morning too?

It was only then she realised the empty space next to her. She feared to think what Reno had gone and done now.

The thought of what could be going on downstairs was enough to make the brunette jump out of bed. Pulling on a pair of loose jeans and a simple white t-shirt, she staggered down the stairs towards what she half expected to be a bombshell.

To her relief, the kitchen was perfectly tidy. Although she would have been more satisfied if Reno was cooking pancakes for her, but that was asking too much of the lazy Turk.

Fearfully, she remembered the one place Reno would be more than comfortable settling down in. The lounge room. Come to think of it, she did hear a faint noise as she was walking down the stairs...

_Please don't let it be... _Tifa silently prayed.

But her prayers were not answered. The lounge room was trash covered, with half-empty chip packets and beer cans scattered across the floor. Wonderful. She was to wake up to a Turk with a hangover.

She walked over towards the centre of the room, where a figure was hanging off the couch. But to her horror, she realised that the figure on her couch, while a Turk, was no redhead.

"What the heck!?" Tifa exclaimed, mortified at the sight of her boyfriend's boss. "Tseng!? Wake the hell up!"

The raven haired man didn't stir, which left Tifa with only one option left. She poured one of the half-empty beer cans on Tseng's head. That woke him up.

Sitting bolt upright, Tseng gasped, trying to catch his breath as if awaking from a nightmare. He stared at her, puzzled. "Tifa?"

Tifa was frowning, not happy with the way the morning was beginning. "Yes, that's me. Do you mind telling me what you're doing in my house?"

There was a moment of silence as Tseng tried to recall what had happened. "I...Hmph. I'm really not sure. I was in my bed, and then the next thing I know...I'm...Here?"

It seemed he was having a hard time trying to remember the events of the previous night. Tifa folded her arms across her chest. "This would have something to do with Reno, wouldn't it?"

Tseng's features lightened somewhat. "Heh. Probably. Was he...here last night?"

Tifa blushed. "Uh...Yeah."

He nodded. "I'll sort this out. You...just carry on with your normal routine."

She paused, before nodding awkwardly. It was to be difficult to carry on normally after such an unusual start to the day. She tried anyway, heading to the kitchen to get her daily coffee.

Tseng took out his phone and dialled Reno's number, wincing as he heard the agitated growl of Tifa.

"Damn it! That bastard used up all my coffee!!!"

Tseng sighed. _Are all women like this?_

To his surprise, Reno actually answered the phone. "Yo, 'sup?" Reno-like, of course.

"Reno, is there any particular reason that I am in your girlfriend's apartment, and you are not?"

There was a pause. "Uh...Yeah."

Tseng tried to remain patient, which was hard after waking up in such a fashion. "And what would that reason be?"

"Don't get the wrong impression or anythin', but...I kinda accidentally spilled her coffee, and I know how much she hates that, so I..."

Another pause. "So you put me in your place? Why wouldn't you just go and buy another refill?"

"I did."

"And?" Tseng was growing weary of Reno's antics.

"It smashed too. Must be bad karma." Reno's tone was all too playful for a Sunday morning.

"...Whatever. Just be prepared for a thorough beating the next time you meet Tifa." Tseng hung up the phone, in time to hear Tifa giggle.

"You got that last part right."

Tseng stood up and stretched. "You know, I was planning to go out to a cafe this morning. Would you be interested in joining me?"

Tifa tried hard not to stare blankly at the man, but she was having difficulty. She was unsure if she should agree with his request, but the thought of coffee made her succumb to it. "Yeah, sure."

Tseng nodded once, half-expecting her answer. "I'll be leaving at once."

The brunette eyed him, blushing slightly. "Er...Before you go, you might wanna use a brush."

It was Tseng's turn to go red, even if slightly. "Thanks."

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The cafe was small and peaceful, set in the northern regions of Midgar. It was nothing special, but it was quiet, and that was all Tifa could have asked for. All that could be heard was the comforting sounds of plates clinking against cutlery, and the low buzz of conversation that surrounded the two. From Tifa's point of view, it was almost romantic. And she didn't think that was such a good thing, being at a romantic cafe with her boyfriend's boss.

_May as well make this conversation short and simple._ Tifa decided, seated tensely in a plastic chair opposite the insanely calm Turk.

But before she could begin, Tseng spoke up. "So Tifa, how long have you been a coffee addict?"

She half-choked on her cup of coffee at his unexpected question, half out of shock that he was being slightly humorous, and also due to the fact that the Turk had simply taken a sip of his own coffee in response, as if he had just asked her if the weather was nice.

Realising how stupid she must have looked, she replied, "Two months. You?"

His face remained unwavering, appearing so calm and still that she wouldn't have been surprised if he were dead. "Ten years."

He took another sip.

Tifa nodded, feeling that the conversation wasn't really leading anywhere.

"Two months...Say, wasn't that when you left Cloud?"

Trust a Turk to be so upfront about such a subject. For the second time that minute, Tifa had made the mistake of taking a sip of her coffee just as Tseng decided to make an unexpected remark. However this time, she actually spat her mouthful out, straight into the raven-haired man's face.

Tifa went red, and Tseng went pale. Still as calm as ever, of course, but this time more of a threatening sort of calm. And then strangely, a rather familiar sounding burst of laughter erupted through the cafe.

Remaining the same colour, Tifa mumbled through gritted teeth, "Reno..."

The redhead revealed himself to the two, offering a tissue to hia coffee tainted boss. "Oh damn Tifa, that was freakin' hilarious!"

Tifa cast him a death stare that left him hesitant. "Of all people, Reno, I'd think you would be the least likely person to be laughing in this situation. Or don't you seem to remember ditching me last night and putting your freakishly calm boss in your place!?"

Tseng clicked his tongue and stood up, muttering to himself, "Wonderful. I've had two liquids touch my face in one morning." before leaving the cafe.

Reno snorted. "Nice job, Tif'."

"Nice job!?" She exclaimed, giving him the bitch slap he thoroughly deserved. "You're such an idiot, Reno! Sometimes I just wish you'd grow up!"

By now, the whole cafe, including the staff members, were staring intently at the fight before them. Tifa turned towards them and snarled. "Mind your own freaking buisnesses!"

Reno rubbed his aching cheek. "I'm sorry, Tif'."

Tifa snickered, crossing her arms defensively, not for a second believing the Turk's apology was sincere. "Yeah right."

"No, I mean I'm genuinely sorry...I really am." The redhead seemed to be having trouble letting out the flow of words, and Tifa noticed.

She hesitated, unsure whether to forgive him or not. So she gave him a test. "You haven't got any excuses?"

Reno quickly replied, making Tifa groan at his stupidity. "Yeah I do!"

"Reno, you could have just said no, and I would have let you off..."

He reached over and grabbed the brunette's pale, feminine hand, which recieved an oh-so-cliche "Aww" from the newly formed audience.

"Shut the hell up! Ya aint at the movies, bitches!" Reno snapped, making Tifa blush.

He began to continue once more. "I could have said no, but I'd have been lying. Listen. This morning, I woke up early, 'cause I wanted to treat you to breakfast for once. And last night you told me you wished I was a better boyfriend, so I wanted to prove myself. I tried makin' you a coffee, but you know how I suck in the kitchen...I spilled it. All of it. And then I went to the shop to get a refill, but they were shut. And then I wanted to bring in my own coffee, but as I was walkin' down the street I realised I'd run out, and then when I was walkin' back, I saw Tseng, and-"

Tifa put a finger to his lips, smiling sweetly. "Honey, it's okay. You tried. I don't know why you didn't just tell me the truth, but I guess that's in the past."

"Yeah, but-" Reno began, but froze as he felt her soft lips touch his. He could sense the audience biting back another cliched "Aww", but he didn't care.

Because once again, his lying ability had got the better of Tifa. And that was all that mattered.

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Okay I'm not too sure how I went with this one...I sincerely hope that it's okay! :D


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